A truth-gauge for your beliefs


"I am not enough." Money is bad." "I am unworthy." Evidently, everyone's thoughts and beliefs come to them in clear and complete sentences - or so the self-help gurus would have us believe. Does it work that way for you? Me neither!

Mine are hardlyever obvious. Instead, they hide inside justifications, explanations, and ruminations. They are buried in convoluted stories. ("It's complicated!") And they never come to me in the form of declarative sentences.

They come asfeelings. Mucky, murky, undefined feelings.

But I've discovered this truth-gauge that never fails me. I often don't like the truth it tells, but it's nearly always accurate.

My thoughts/beliefs and my life are always a match.

For example, I don't hear the belief, "money is bad," in my mind, but if I look at my behavior around money, and the presence or absence of money at any given time, it is easy to see when that belief is active.

I don't think, "I'm not loveable," but when I begin ruminating over my wife's lousy choice of men, or obsess over who has not returned my emails or calls, I can be pretty damn sure that this belief is having its way.

If I want to know what I'm thinking inside, the most immediate and accurate truth-gauge is to notice what's happening on the outside. I can easily lie to myself about my thoughts, but my behavior, and the outcomes in my life, never lie.

What to do with those screwy beliefs will have to wait for another day, but first, we have to be bold enough to see and name the evidence of those beliefs in our lives. For when we can name them, we can change them. (About that, the gurus are correct.)

Want to know what you are thinking and believing? Look around. All the answers are right there. And it turns out it's not that complicated.