A conversation with fear
You know that feeling when you know - without question or doubt - that you need to clear the cobwebs out of your thinking and start anew? As if your very life depended on it? That's me. Big time. No question or doubt.
OK, I lied. Lots of doubt.I've allowed a too-long period with the mental pedal to the metal. Now, like a little kid who wants one more story before bed, my mind refuses to give it up, let down, and surrender to the unknown.
You see, next Monday, I climb on a plane headed for Thailand. Two weeks of relaxed bliss with my heart of hearts (my daughter) and the love of my life (my wife). A two-week window to be fully present with warm air, Buddhist temples, good food, long beach walks, and lots and lots of conversation. A two-week brain break from thinking about what's next and what needs to be done.
So what does my brain do? Fire up the fear systems! All hands on deck! Abort the launch! You've still got sh-t to figure out, boy!
So, fear and I are having a face-to-face. "Thank you," I'll say. "Thank you for working so hard to protect me; I love you for that, but I've got this. Thinking about the same topic 24 hours a day has not worked. It has not produced more or better ideas. It has just worn me out."
Then, before fear can object, I'll continue. "So you can stand down on this one. I'm going to hit the off-switch, step out into the sun, and be fully present with every precious moment of my time away."
"Oh, and I need your help. I need you to trust me on this one. I know what I am doing. There is no danger. Have a seat, take a chill pill. I've got the wheel."
I might need to have this conversation a few times between now and Monday, but I'm hoping fear will trust me and maybe discover I was OK all along.
I'll let you know how it goes.